There is no longer a differential between our children’s offline and digital world. The messages of being kind remain to be true in all aspects of life, but the digital world offers a distance, and in some cases a feeling of anonymity, which some children (and adults) don’t think twice about the consequences of being unkind.

The consequences are, in many ways, more hurtful and serious that face to face, and should be treated as very serious.

Online bullying is an unfortunate side effect of learning to use technology responsibly, that sometimes messages can turn hurtful – even between children who are normally on good terms. 

As adults, we wouldn’t put our children in a car and expect it to drive without guidance, support mentoring and support when it goes wrong. The internet is an unknown, and we cannot let our children explore it without us as adults being there to guide, support and teach our children how to use it properly.

As parents of primary school children, we need to work hard to keep up with the technology. There should not be any App on the phone which you  don’t understand, and there shouldn’t be any messages on the phone which you can’t have access to. An open dialogue should always be encouraged … and please parents/carers, do not be naive!

With WhatsApp (age 14+) and Messenger (age 16+), record of conversations can be kept and referred to. Messages on Snapchat (age 16+) and Houseparty (age 14+) are more challenging to keep up with. As always, please  refer to Commonsensemedia for further advice – it is brilliant. Encourage your children to use it to to inform them.

My child has received upsetting messages online from one or more of their friends – what should I do?

1. Don’t delete any of the messages – they are proof that an incident has taken place.  If you want to remove them from your child’s device, screenshot them first and send them to yourself.
2. If appropriate, contact the parents/carers of the children involved.  Most incidences are the result of a misunderstanding which can be quickly resolved with a face to face meeting to discuss the issue.  Remain calm and courteous in your interactions with other families and remember that their is always two sides to every story.
3. Remember that the children are learning how to use electronic devices responsibly and, as with all learning, mistakes can be made.

My child has received messages online from someone who is not known to them – what should I do?

1. Don’t delete any of the messages – they are proof that an incident has taken place.  If you want to remove them from your child’s device, screenshot them first and send them to yourself.
2. Reassure your child that they have not done anything wrong and that it is not their fault.
3. Block the user – this can normally be done by clicking the three dots from the message thread.
4. Report the user to the service provider – this too can normally be done by clicking the three dots from the message thread. 
5. If you still feel uneasy about the contact with your child, please contact the school where we can discuss your concerns and take any further action.